Can't sleep, might as well ramble......

You don't need wings to fly. Simply launch off a tall building and enjoy the experience while it lasts; after all, all experience is fleeting at best. Lots of people talk of eternity as if they have a notion what it is. With many, the here and now is simply a short stop before we are welcomed into the ever after. They are seemingly in waiting. Joyous at the thought of an eternity (again,no conception) where all is good and perfect. Looking forward to that inevitability seems to me close to suicide through wanting. I, for one will accept the fate when it takes me kicking and screaming. I want to look forward to the continuation of LIFE. At least through my perception it is tangible, it is real and it is precious. I'll take the here and now over the theoretical any time. Due to my condition, I look at the world slightly differently now. I see things and experience things in a more raw light. I have yet to figure out how to best deal with the time I feel is wasted in conversation leaning from banal to ludicrous. How do I not feel selfish when I blow off a do gooder who possesses more issues than myself, when I know I can decimate his beliefs and thus destroy his convictions. It would be preferable to me if I could simply say "don't waste my time" or "I don't follow that logic" or "thanks, but I need to leave now- send me an e-mail of your thoughts". Likely, I'd simply garner his pity at MY ignorance. You see, I'm pretty sure the earth is not flat, but we still have some "flat earthers" out there, and they refuse to budge. To me, the world at large would be poorly served with a 2000 year old science book.